I’m Ben Floyd. I created THINK3 to encourage people to think for themselves. Thinking for yourself simply gives you more options.
Growing up I was basically raised by two, for lack of a better term, organizations. Yeah, my parents raised me, but the most powerful organization in my life also raised my parents. I didn’t have too many different influences or options.
Both organizations discouraged thinking and promoted dependency. I’m only going to go over the lesson 1 right now…public schools. Around 3rd grade, I started having issues with math. I wasn’t bad at math, I was actually very good. I was able to do math quickly in my head. I was processing the numbers different than the way my teacher said was “the right way” and I wasn’t “showing my work.” The issue was, I wasn’t conforming. Even though I always had the correct answer and usually had it before anyone else, I was always being lectured.
I have a very analytical mind and to this day it still makes no sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I know we need to be able to follow directions. I showed my teacher many times that I was able to do it her way. It boggles my mind why a teacher would push the unique to conform, rather than encourage a gift. At 9 years old I hated school because I wasn’t allowed to be me. What did I do? I conformed and started to hate myself.
I’ve struggled with many addictions for over 18 years, over half of my life…I’m only 31. A lot of people would say I have an addictive personality and some would say I was born that way. I used to agree, I used to believe it was just how I was made. That is until I shifted my thinking. I’ve overcome almost every addiction I’ve ever had. I recently quit smoking after 18 years and a lot of failed attempts at quitting. How? Not with gum or a patch. Not with counseling or a vape. The cravings didn’t magically disappear one morning. I didn’t even start a new habit. I simply desired to not waste my money on smoke’s anymore, and what is a desire but a passionate thought.
So now that I know I can overcome this addictive personality B.S., the question is…was I born that way? A lot of people with addictive personalities will do things to the extreme. “All or nothing at all, go big or state home.” Although I’ve gotten a lot better controller now, I’m one of them. The key word for me was extreme and it all started in 3rd grade. Before that, I was a normal kid doing normal kid things with a mind that was unique. Being forced to conform was extremely unnatural to me and to compensate I rebelled to the extreme. I wasn’t some wild out of control kid, I was a balanced extremist. At 9 years old I was a rebel ditching school, making sure I answered the phone when the school called and perfecting my dad’s handwriting to forge notes. (Rebel) While in school, I did everything to their best of my ability the way I was instructed. (Conform)
I continued this until I dropped out in 10th grade when I was going to E.V.I.T. In the afternoon earning an A and completely ditching ever class in the morning. It took Mesa School District 2 weeks to figure out I wasn’t going to class. When I left I had 78 unexcused absences with a 81.3 GPA.
6 years ago I had a full-time job overseeing multiple jobs and multiple people, perfecting my skills and training people for perfection. While at the same time being a full-time heroin junkie, strung out, shooting up in the porta-shitter on the job site. I had no middle ground, no normalcy that made life enjoyable. I missed a lot of my daughter’s early milestones perfecting a career I didn’t care for. I can’t remember 90% of the movies I watched with my ex because I was too high, on a drug I despised, to stay awake.
Today I’m still missing my children’s milestones and I still can’t remember these movies. But today, I’m thinking from my prison cell in Tucson, Arizona. I’m thinking and learning, to help my kids create opportunities they might not otherwise have and maybe one day make movies that are only in my head. Today I choose to think and inspire others to think. Today I THINK3.