Thinking positively about life isn’t about having some distorted view thinking everything is all peaches and cream. Everyone on this planet has issues. It’s how we think about these problems that matters.

When I was on my way to prison for the 2^nd time in 2015, I didn’t have some dilution that I would be fine financially. Money was still an issue.

Negative thoughts are just as powerful as positive ones. I believe in the universal laws of attraction. But I’m not going to get into that right now. I want to focus on how our thoughts determine our actions.

I could have earlier stayed with what I consider negative thoughts about how to make money doing shady shit in prison. Like selling drugs. I could have still made money, I also could have gotten caught with those drugs and got more time. I probably would have used the drugs, ended up not having the money to pay for them. Gotten my ass kicked. Negative thoughts produce negative actions that cause negative consequences.

By thinking positively, I was willing to do things that were legit to get money. I acted with pride, confidence, and responsibility. My bunker saw these attributes and the Law of Attraction came into play, big time. Even if I wasn’t “in the right place at the right time,” (this is how most people see the Law of Attraction, not me). My confidence and responsibility still would have shown. I would have started making money on my own. And, I did.

I was also sewing that time down. Bringing in $30-$50 more a month. Even though I had never made a long sleeve shirt before, I was confident in my ability to be able to figure it out. I took a risk. I made a sewing needle. Cut up 2 of my 3 shirts. Got to work.

I showed people my work, I had 2 people wanting a long sleeve within 5 minutes. By the time I was done with the 3^rd shirt, I had people coming to me for all types of tailoring, shirts, jackets, pants, shorts, pillows.

Because of my desire to make money in a positive way and my willingness to work for it, I literally had more work than I could handle. My risk for getting in trouble wasn’t crazy, I might have gotten a ticket for the needle but that’s nothing compared to more time if I got caught with drugs.

Like I said, thinking positively isn’t believing everything is hunky-dory. It’s acknowledging our problems with positive thoughts, a quick example of this would be changing, “I can’t get out of debt” to “I want to be financially free.” It is the same concepts dealing with the same issue. One is negative, one is positive.

The word “can’t” is pure negativity. It promotes frustration and discouragement. The word “debt,” although there is such a thing as good debt, is generally associated negatively. Being frustrated and discouraged about debt will get you nowhere. Maybe deeper in debt and more frustrated.

The word “want” promotes a desire and willingness to obtain. “Free” is pure positivity. Having a desire and willingness to obtain financial freedom you will start acting on that thought. Being more responsible with the money you have, looking for ways to make more. I know, this is what worked for me. It all started with changing how I thought.

In prison, we have 2 different types of stores. The state runs one store, we can only get stuff from here once a week. We have to fill out an order form the week before we pick it up.

The second is one that is run by an inmate. There are many of these stores on every unit. These stores are open every day as long as they have staff. They work off a credit system with 30-50% interest.

I’ve never respected money. I’ll tell you about how this perspective came about later. Right now, I want to show you the concept from where I have always been to where I am now, regarding money.

I was stuck in debt with these stores. Usually over stupid shit like sodas and cupcakes. I’d get irritated with myself every week when I’d have to give them $15 for the $10 I got from them. The more irritated I got, the more I’d say screw it and go get another soda and cupcake.

I got my money under control with 2 positive thoughts. 1: I wanted to respect my family and the money they sent me. 2: I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. Not whatever was available from the store.

I’ve gone from owing $10 plus every week, with very little to call my own. To having a stockpile and money to spare. My money didn’t increase to get out of debt. I started being responsible with it.

My family sends me money once a month. With that money I buy everything, I need for the next month. Any extra money my family sends me as I get paid for working is extra. I can do what I want with this, save, splurge, invest.

I think most people, at least in developed societies, earn enough money to be financially free. It is the negative thinking that keeps them in debt.

Without any increase in money, I’ve gone from asking someone for a shot of coffee for $60 of debt to drinking 2-3 cups of my own coffee a day. I have enough to last me another 3 weeks at that rate. I’ve gone from asking for a scoop of peanut butter for my bread to having chips, cookies, oatmeal, peanut butter, trail mix, protein shakes..I won’t run out of that stuff for at least 2 more weeks. I still have money on my account to refill anything I get close to running out of.

Stuck in debt begging to more than enough. Just by changing my thoughts to be positive. Of course, my actions changed also. They automatically changed to be in line with my thoughts.

Give this concept a try, set aside some time today. It doesn’t matter if it’s 10 minutes or an hour. Think about the things in life you would like to change. Finances, schooling, fitness, relationships, video games. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you would like it to change for the better, try this.

Think about where you’d like to be (end goal) in a positive way, and your (attitude) in a positive way. I want (attitude) to be financially free (end goal). I will (attitude) be more understanding with my kids (end goal). I can (attitude) be better at Madden 2017 (end goal).

When you have a positive attitude about a positive end goal, you will find that you’re motivated to achieve this. Your actions will fall in line with your thoughts. You will start doing what’s needed to achieve your end goal.

Your day is already filled thinking about your issues. Acknowledge how you think about them without judging. If necessary, spin that thought into a positive one. This is where it all starts. With a thought.

Can you think positively for a few minutes today, about your issues? Between getting ready in the morning, eating, driving, the hours spent in front of the TV or phone? There’s plenty of time to think!

One perspective that really screws with people is failure.

The idea of failure comes from choosing to believe someone else’s opinion of your situation.

You can’t fail at being yourself! You can only produce results!

I made some no bake brownies the other day. Chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter, maple and brown sugar oatmeal, snickers and peanut M&Ms. Sounds pretty good right? Nope. They actually kind of sucked. To much salt and peanut butter. Some people would see my brownie as a waste of money, a failure. Not me. They were a lesson. I learned to use less peanut and more chocolate. If the next ones aren’t awesome, I’ll use more sugar.

Edison went through hundreds of lessons to learn what not to do to make a light bulb. I used to look at my relationships as failures. Now I learn from them. It’s important to grasp this concept fully. It’s destructive to view yourself as a failure. It can become a cycle that continues to grow and destroy, like a tornado or hurricane.

I would intentionally do things to prove to myself I wasn’t a failure. But, life never goes as planned. When what I was doing didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I considered myself a failure. I had to try something larger to compensate for the last screw up. When that didn’t work I was a larger failure. They cycle continued building in size and the damage got more serious.

This destructive thought of failure eventually led me feeling extremely hopeless. I gave up on everyone and everything except the drugs that numbed the pain. Homeless, neglecting my kids, worrying my mom, stealing (even from people close to me), not caring about the consequences.

My tornado of failure started to do some heavy damage when I found out I was going to be a dad. I never had a chance. I was a failure from the gate. I had a piss poor job that wasn’t worth the gate to get to. An opiate habit that was getting out of control. The more I felt like a failure, the more I used. The more I used, the higher the failure I became.

The damage came in many forms. One of the biggest for me was losing my ex. Using opiates, I was oblivious to reality. I know she wasn’t happy with me. I had no clue she had given up on us long before. I never saw it coming when she broke up with me. I said fuck life and gave up.

I don’t try to fail anymore. I stopped judging myself. I no longer view on the outcome with a warped perspective. I view it exactly for what it is. A result to learn from. I try, and I learn, what does and does not work. By learning I build confidence and self-esteem. I start living up to my potential.

Changing your destiny is as easy as changing your thoughts. It really is.

Our choices don’t determine our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our choices. If you think negatively you’ll act negatively. Negative things will be prominent in your life. If you think positively you’ll act positively. Positive things will be prominent in your life. It really is this simple.

I use the word “prominent” because shit happens. You can be negative and good shit will still happen. You can be positive and bad shit will still happen. It’s what you do with this “shit” that makes the difference. Every situation in life carries with it a seed of extreme opposition. Every good thing in life come with the power of destruction. With every bad thing in life comes the power to create.

Positive and negative is a perspective. Events in life are neither positive or negative. They are just events. It’s our mindset that determines if the event is good or bad. As you know I’m in prison right now. Most of the world view this as a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks being locked up. But I’ve chosen to try to see the positive in everything.

I’ve taken advantage of this situation to become the best me that I can be. I spend most of my time on improvement and learning. By thinking about prison as an opportunity rather than a setback and choosing to better myself, I’m changing my destiny.

I study business and investment, so I can own my own company doing what I enjoy. I study philosophy to get different views on how the universe walks. Instead of being stuck with what I was told to believe as a child, I study psychology to understand why people do what they do, without judging.

I spend time on this website to help people see the power of the mind, to encourage them/you to not only think positively but just to think. I really enjoy helping people. I love mentoring. Not mentoring an individual on a regular basis to teach them all my ways. Mentoring on a situation basis. (There’s a guy I hang out with, he’s not the best with money but would like to get it under control. I try to help him with his money, but I don’t push my workout routine on him.) I’ll have a bigger opportunity to mentor more people in a few months. I’m excited about this new opportunity.

By choosing to do these things, I’m building a foundation for the future I desire. I am creating the destiny that I want. Right here in a place most of the world views as a setback, I only see open doors.

What do you see in your own life? Set back or open doors. Do you understand that your future is determined by the choices you make right now? You can change your destiny. The power is between your ears.

That book Jason sent me in 2015 is called, “You’ll See It When You Believe It” by Wayne W. Dyer. There are a lot of very deep concepts in this book that have helped me look beyond myself and become a better person, inside and out. I’ll go over these concepts and how they’ve helped me, a little at a time.

The most impactful concept for me when I started this journey was forgiveness and it will always play a major role. Think about this concept: the universe does not forgive because it does not blame. Feeling the need to forgive someone, whether it’s yourself or someone else is usually prompted by a desire to no longer blame them.

Being able to truly forgive is key to making changes in life. True forgiveness is letting go of negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back. As we know, our perspective of is a big part of our thoughts. So, let’s dive deeper into our perspective and bring forgiveness along for the ride. You might need it to make a true change.

Before we get into this, I want to talk to those of you who may suffer from depression. The journey you are hopefully about to join me on is a challenging one. We’re going to reveal some deep shit.

There are 2 things to keep in mind that are equally important.

1: Truly forgiving the situations and people in your past will greatly reduce the depression associated with it/them. It’s worth it!

2: Understand that your brain is another muscle and burns a lot of calories. Working out a new muscle is difficult at first, but it gets easier with time. You’re probably going to be fatigued at first or “emotionally drained.” This is a natural, physical side effect and it is directly related to how much effort you put into your thoughts. If you get physically drained the day or 2 after “deep thinking” do not slip into depression! Take pride in that exhaustion, knowing you have made a significant impact on your mental health for the better! Eat something healthy and do something that doesn’t require a lot of mental energy. You’ll be back to normal shortly. Probably better than normal.

Sometimes to truly change our perspective, of situations or people, we have to think back to when that perspective originated. There will be times when forgiveness is the only way to change the perspective.

Ready? Let’s start thinking.

Early 2016, I just read a section in “You’ll See It When You Believe It” about forgiveness. I was intrigued by this. I started thinking about who I need to forgive and who I’d like forgiveness from and the situation involved. At first, it was easy. There was a ton of things that needed forgiving.

I went down my list of names and the situation involved with those people. I forgave and asked for forgiveness right then. The other people didn’t need to be around to let go of the pain. It’s my pain and mine to let go of.

I finished with my mom and went on to my sis. I couldn’t place my finger on it but there seemed to be more to deal with involving my mom. As I finished with sis and went on to my brother Joe, I got the same feeling that there is more to be forgiven with sis, even though I couldn’t think of anything else. When I got to the end of the list with Joe, I got the same feeling again, that it goes deeper, and decided to figure it out before I moved on to the next person on my list.

It didn’t take long to figure out this deeper issue with Joe. I had always had an issue trusting him. Whether it was his sincerity in wanting to help me or the things he tried to teach me. His actions always backed up his sincerity. His words were always helpful when I applied them. But for some reason, I did not trust him.

I started thinking back. I wanted to discover this trust issue. I relived moments with Joe, not just the actions but my thoughts and feelings as well. I hit upon a moment when I was about 5 or 6 years old.

A few days before the incident with my brother, we were in the car and I said “fart.” My mom told me I’d get my mouth washed out with soap if I ever said it again. (My mom had a real hard time believing she would do this, when I talked to her awhile back because her mentality had changed.) But that’s exactly what happened.

Joe and I were walking home from school a few days later and I started laughing. Joe asked me what I was laughing about, and I told him “I farted.” I would never have thought he would go straight to my mom and tell on me. I got my mouth washed out with soap and never let Joe close to me again.

When I realize this is where it all started with Joe, I mentally went back in time and forgave Joe for telling on me and myself forget and pissed at him for this. The little bit of a relationship I have with him isn’t good, at the moment. But, I have no resentment or bad feelings towards him. I’m able to look back at our interactions and see that he truly did care and wanted the best for me.

After dealing with this issue I had with Joe for 20 plus years, I was able to dig deep into other relationships and forgive even the slightest issues.

Not all issues will be easy to recognize. With Joe, I know the issue directly involved him and my trusting him. A major issue I’ve had is that I used to fall for any girl who gave me attention. Way too fast, and I’d fall hard. But, I would never let any get close to me and would usually lose interest within 2 weeks. Up until recently, when I’ve let my sister and mom get close, these were the only 2 girls in my life who held attention and I allowed to get somewhat close. Even being with my kid’s mom faithfully for about 7 years, I was never very vulnerable with her.

When I was little all my close relationships were with females and they all disappeared in less than a year. In first grade, I was in love with a girl named Charlene. We were inseparable in school and we’d sometimes hang out outside of school at the YMCA or at her house etc. She never showed up for the second grade.

There were 2 older girls that lived next door to us in Gilbert. I’d hang out with them a lot and of course, a 6-year-old boy spending time with 2 cute teenagers…I was hooked. Their parents separated, and they were gone.

I lost my mom and my best friend Brooke at the same time. Brooke is a girl my mom babysat. I had spent every day with her for as long as I could remember. My mom got a job and Brooke vanished.

I’m pretty sure my mom was a stay-at-home mom up until this point. I can’t remember her not being around. She started working 2nd shift right off the bat. Gone before she got home from school. Didn’t get off work until well after I was asleep. She was still asleep when I left for school. Her weekends were usually spent resting or taking care of the house. My mom was gone.

And then there was Melissa. My relationship with sis was and thankfully is again the deepest most meaningful to date. When I was 6, sis left home. I balled my eyes out and emotionally shut down when she got married. I thought I’d never see her again. She was one of the last to leave me and probably the only one I really needed to stay. Don’t get me wrong it sucked when the others disappeared. But life without my sister felt impossible.

I developed this idea/perspective that females I get close to will vanish and carried it through all of my relationships. When this old perspective of women leaving, when a relationship started to go south, I protected myself by completely destroying any chance at any type of relationship with them again. I wouldn’t just “burn the bridge.” I’d strap 100 tons of C4 to it and blow it sky high. Then send these scraps through a shredder and nuke the shredder with an A-bomb. I didn’t like physical warfare. I chose psychological, destructive words were my Atomic Bomber. What the fuck would I do if I took this same mentality into my relationship with my daughter?

But because I recognize a bad pattern, dug deep and forgave, I have amazing relationships with my mom and sister. A chance to be a good father not just to my daughter but to my son as well and any other kids I might have in the future. A desire to allow some women a chance to really see me for me.

With my brother, forgiveness obviously needed to happen. With the women that left me when I was young, I understood the situation that caused them to not be around, even then. What I didn’t understand was that I had held onto resentment towards them for 22 years. Going back and forgiving myself for being upset with them and them for leaving me, whether they had a choice in leaving me or not, was the only way to break the perspective of women vanishing. Believe me, 7 years I tried to change it. Sometimes forgiveness is the only way.

What needs forgiveness in your life?

What in your life can only change with forgiveness?